I am going to rant in calmest way possible;

I really believe that peace begins with oneself. If one can’t be positive and accepting of any events, situation, and/or feedbacks then of course a conflict is already existed there. It’s not easy – I am very much guilty of spreading more than enough negative energy, and for that I am having my long journey in attempts to cancel my previous acts and instead commence spreading positives. But I have difficulties staying focused when I encounter individuals who throw money at me (or mistreats money in general), especially when such individual is a parent (or parents sometimes!)

I just served a mother with 3 young children; she was treating each of the kids with some ice cream. Now I must mention for their sake, that the mother and kids have basic social pleasantries as they were very polite with words. The issue for me was at the end when the mother threw a bill at me to pay.

I understand it’s (early) evening now and the mom’s probably very much exhausted having to deal with three energized young kids all by herself, but that doesn’t give any justice of her attitude in the end. I can understand her exhaustion as a parent. But mistreating money? That is the same as mistreating any bodies in my eyes.

I am pretty proud of myself for remaining surprisingly calm, and for not throwing her change back in her face. I even handed her change back to her, instead of leaving them on a counter (which by the way is my usual response to such customers but I also know they will give me a piece of their mind in annoying way possible if I do that).

So hear me out … (or not)

I believe in karma. What I do or say will come back to me, or at me.

I would like to have a happy blessed life. I have had a very blessed childhood despite all the crap that did happen, so that made it easier for me to start returning the kindness and assistance back to community/people. I do the same with money.

I am not poor but I am not rich.

To be honest, my family are just surviving in this over-priced city while we are paid lower minimum wages than other communities. But we have a house (rental but still a house) with fenced yard for the kids to safely play in, we have food, we have ways (options!) to clean ourselves, and most importantly we are all together. There’s nothing richer than what we already have.

Don’t judge me yet – I am very much guilty of being greedy and wanting more. But that said, I must go back to my thankfulness side and mention that I have a job – jobs to be exact. While few people may have hard time finding jobs to support oneself, I got 2 jobs. I have to take care of my needs and desires (not yet a shopaholic but getting there😅). How did I get so lucky to find not just one but two jobs?


My weekend job is at a place I once worked at during my early 20s. The boss and I kept in touch, however very minimal, but my work attitude was valued well that they welcome me back with warm hearts whenever I am in need of getting a job. They know how honest I am and how fast I work, that they prefer to pay me OT than to hire bunch of other minimum waged people. This is a perfect case of my motto:

Quality over quantity.

But it is quite far from home, so I went out in my neighborhood to look for a second job. I knew what kind of work I wanted to do, and one day I found a hiring sign so I went and applied. I pretty much got hired on the spot. They have been giving me shifts for every single available days I’ve told them.

Seriously, how blessed am I?

VERY MUCH SO! is my answer.

So now I have this awesome energy flow started. I don’t need to be a millionaire; it would be wonderful but I know I would never be fulfilled if I had that kind of money.

I would definitely always choose a hard life over a greedy life. And this is because I know for a fact that I won’t be happy if I’m living in above average lifestyle.

I have witnessed enough people complain about money, and one thing that stood out the most is that such people have no respect for anything. They are rude, they don’t know their stance, they constantly have to have someone they can look down on. They are too busy trying to prove their existence and importance to the world that they forget morales and values; pretty much they forget to be humane.

While it is very important to be aware of current events and keeping the grounds solid, I believe that sharing peace with anything is equally powerful.

I talk to birds (crows especially);

I talk to flowers and trees;

I talk to spiritual beings that I believe in;

I talk to TV;

I talk to pretty much everything and anything – both good and bad talks. But through that, I have gained more insights on myself. It helps me remold my mind for the better.

#parent #parents #money #rich #poor #happiness #gratitude #positive #negative #energy #energyflow #karma #humane #morale #virtues #bpd #mental #awareness #borderlinepersonalitydisorder

3 thoughts on “Rantazilla

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